i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
