What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize