he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
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