What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
