Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
