Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize