So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
