There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
