Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
