I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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