ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
