i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize