we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Randomize
