I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
