i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
