it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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