I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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