don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
