Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
