So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
