i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
