Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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