How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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