He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize