Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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