So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
