I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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