brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Randomize
