It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
