Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
