I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
