their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
