You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
