She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
