the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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