HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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