we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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