HIV tests are more positive than that guy
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i love accidental penises.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
