I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize