the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
