i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize