Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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