Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I came so hard my ears popped.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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