It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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