How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Randomize
