You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
