I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
