I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
