I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize