North Korea, Best Korea!
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
