at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
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