Whod you bang
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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