FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
accomplished twins. life is a go
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
