That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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