What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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