i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
