i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
