apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
