so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize