My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
