this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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