Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Randomize
