wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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