i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Randomize
