it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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