awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
