talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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