Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize