We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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