Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
