A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
