i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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