just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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