Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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