tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
